I’ve shared in the past that I experienced a painful loss during my first pregnancy in 2013. There have been so many times that women have privately asked me for advice because they were experiencing a miscarriage or knew someone who was. I thought I would sit down in front of the camera and share the ins and outs of my experience because October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and October 15th is Infant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day.
This article was originally written in November of 2013 for Our Witness, a website that highlights personal testimonies of Christians all over the world. Thank you for reading!
The day after I lost my baby was the only day I literally wanted to die. I’ve met other women who suffered a miscarriage before, but they still seemed “normal”, so I didn’t think much of the impact it has on women until it happened to me.
They said it was “hard” and “one of the most difficult events they’ve ever been through”, but I couldn’t imagine the attachment they had to their unborn child no matter how brief or how long their baby was wrapped in its mother’s womb.
We weren’t trying to get pregnant, but it was something I could hardly wait for. I always joked that I’ve been wanting a baby since I was a baby, so since I’ve been married I’ve had multiple talks with my husband asking why we couldn’t have a baby…NOW. My period came like clockwork and so did the symptoms, however the day before I was supposed to start my cycle, me and my husband were watching our favorite shows and I had this overwhelming and exciting urge to yell “I’m pregnant!”
Well, for obviously reasons, I didn’t. Continue reading “Through the Darkest Valley”