WAIT! Hear me out…I haven’t (completely) lost it.

One of the greatest revelations in my life came when I stopped praying for things.

Now, understand-I am a PRAYING WOMAN! If you can count on me for something, it is to PRAY. Anytime. Any place. Nothing brings me greater joy than when a friend calls or texts “can we pray?”. I get excited!!! Like “uh uh devil-you betta watch out now!” We declare His word. We stand in agreement. We put on the full armor. We cry. We shout. We leave feeling ready to take on the world and everything in it.

That’s HOW we pray. But what really transformed my prayers for myself and for others was changing WHAT I prayed.  

So often our prayers sound like this…

“Dear Lord, please give me the job/money/car/house/man/marriage/baby. In Jesus name, Amen.” We may even find a few scriptures that perfectly align with our wishes. We speak it daily. We begin to beg God. We don’t see it coming to pass. We get mad. We may even lose the exact thing we have been praying for and standing on. “But God-I PRAYED for that!!!!”

Again, hear my heart-I’m not saying our Daddy does not seek to give us our deepest desires, because He does. IF they are in line with HIS WILL.

Don’t take it from me though…hear it from my main man Jesus himself.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” -Matthew 6:33 NIV

Imagine for just a second what this world would look like (or even just your life) if we stopped praying for THINGS and sought what is best for His KINGDOM.

I love the way the MSG version states it:

“What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way He works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how He works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.” -Matthew 6:31-33

Can I tell you how much peace, freedom, and joy comes when you begin to TRULY only pray “THY WILL BE DONE”, or “God show me what would benefit your KINGDOM in this situation”, or “Help me see this with your eyes”? This is where that peace that surpasses all understanding takes over. He will even start to give you glimpses of His plan as He is blessed by your faith and obedience to His will.

Even now-coming out of what the world would call on of the hardest seasons of my life (IVF treatments, miscarriages, pursuing adoption, job loss, seeking new job), I have crazy peace and joy. And I owe all that to deciding to finally stop praying for THINGS. My mind is blown daily with the way He takes so much better care of the THINGS than I ever could. He will do the same for you.


Let’s pray.


We thank you not for what you do, but who you are. We thank you for our portion. We apologize for all the times we ask and beg for things that WE want, and not even ask what YOU want for us or for others. We acknowledge that your thoughts are above our thoughts and your ways are above our ways. Today we submit. Our requests. Our desires. Our dreams. We leave them at your feet. Jesus, help us to pray as you instructed. Help us to leave our selfish desires in place of what will benefit your kingdom and all the people in it. Holy Spirit, check our hearts each time we begin to pray. Reveal to us the big picture and help us see each situation from your viewpoint. In Jesus name. Amen.


My true coming to know Christ (as well as my blog, She Who Believed) was birthed from Luke 1:45 “Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her”.  It was actually conceived while we were trying to conceive.

As we kept the story secret from everyone in our lives, just as I had with every single other faith-shaking story of my life, I would cry out to God, “I am so alone!!!”. “You chose to be” is what He lovingly showed. And at that moment, I promised Him that I would commit my life to make sure no other woman ever felt alone. Childhood abandonment, sexual assault, physical assaults, cancer attacks, infertility, IVF, miscarriages, dream career loss, the murder of my father- all stood no match to my God. So I promise to be here for you. With realness. With transparency. With encouragement. With His promises in hand. I promise.

becca.jpgBecca Starks here-just a woman from Omaha Nebraska crazy in love with Jesus with a heart for his women. What really gets me going? ENCOURAGEMENT.

I live to encourage other women in every step of their walk with God.  My life goal is to see God’s daughters truly believe His promises.

Visit her website and social media on Instagram, and Facebook!