What does it mean to have it all, do it all, and be everything to everyone? I don’t know, but it makes me tired just thinking about it. I think most Christian women have Proverbs 31 on a pedestal, but many of us are asking “How do I apply this to my life?”
I’m not an early riser and I don’t have female servants. I don’t own property (yet), neither do I wish to have a vineyard. You would think that this wife of noble character described in the bible is a busy-body, but we’ve learned in Luke 10:38-42 that sitting at the Lord’s feet is far more important than having your hands full.
As they went on their way, they came to a town where a woman named Martha lived. She cared for Jesus in her home. Martha had a sister named Mary. Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to all He said. Martha was working hard getting the supper ready. She came to Jesus and said, “Do You see that my sister is not helping me? Tell her to help me.” Jesus said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. Only a few things are important, even just one. Mary has chosen the good thing. It will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)
It has taken me a while to fully picture myself as a Proverbs 31 wife, but when I read this passage today, the Lord is highlighting the importance of what the verses describe:
She brings peace and goodness to her husband.
She is eager to get things done and makes sure that her family is healthy and fed.
She is discerning of how to invest in her future.
She is a strong and hard worker.
She has compassion for those that are in need.
She uses her creativity to make her home beautiful.
She has faith in God for His provisions.
She has joy for the days ahead.
She doesn’t lack wisdom and is discerning of the Lord’s word.
She oversees that her household is in order.
She abounds in a love that is a blessing to her family and her community.
The gist of this means she is a woman of peace, eagerness, discernment, strength, hard work, compassion, creativity, faith, joy, wisdom, order, and love. What a list! How can I possibly keep up with this perfect example of womanhood? The key to that is to love God enough to obey Him, and love others enough to care for them.
I’m not volunteering at the soup kitchen every Wednesday, but at the beginning of each day I pray that the Lord allows me to be used to glorify Him through divine appointments where I can sow into someone in need or have opportunities to minister. I trust my husband to provide for our family, but I also look for ways I can use my skills in modeling, acting, photography, and writing to bring in supplemental income without neglecting the time it takes to keep a household running and manage a busy toddler. We are blessed to be parents, so meeting my daughter’s needs is another way of serving God. If you pay more attention to the character traits of aProverbs 31 woman, you’ll see that it’s easier than trying to fill her shoes through works.
It’s hard not to look to other moms, wives, or just women in general and compare your accomplishments to theirs. I make a daily effort to stay in my lane so that I can balance everything on my plate and not neglect myself in the process.
We need to lift each other up, encourage the effort other women are putting into their walk with God, and stay prayed up because the enemy doesn’t take a day off. Family and relationships between women are constantly under attack, and this is our chance to become our best self and stay grounded on the battle field. The next time you think “being aProverbs 31 woman is impossible and overrated”, I hope you remember how simple it truly is: love God and love others. I pray you fulfill your true purpose and maintain a pure joy while doing it.
You are indeed more valuable than rubies.
Kytia L’amour is a writer, performer, and photographer spreading God’s love in all art forms. Reaching out to young women and sharing her story is what keeps her heart beating for Christ.
Kytia lives in sunny Los Angeles with her husband and daughter.